Thursday, April 13, 2006

Anatomy of Hell

While perusing though the Blockbuster 4 for £20 sale a while ago I was stuck with 7 DVD's and could not find a suitable 8th to make up my numbers, a bit of a dilemma as you can imagine, anyway to cut a long and boring story short, I ended up purchasing the above.
Some time passed and I finally got round to watching the movie which I can best describe as a steaming pile of excrement. The film is about a woman (Maria Cesar) who goes to a gay club and picks up a guy (Rocco Sifted, yes the porn star) who was gay so how she did it I’m still a little unsure, she’s ok but I seriously doubt she is fit enough to make a man forget he likes men, anyway she catches his attention, he follows and finds her cutting her wrist in the toilets. When he asks her why she is self-harming, she simply replies “because I am a woman” a little strange but I persevered.
Rocco in his infinite wisdom decides that he is going to help little miss crazy and gets her all patched up, now this is where it starts to get really strange. There is some brief chat between the two which basically comes down to her suggesting he only helped her because he wants a blow job, quite how she came to that conclusion I don’t know, its a gay club, he is gay, you're a chick!!. Maybe its me but I think she is being rather presumptuous and judging by the fact Rocco bitch slapped her hard in her mush, he did too.
Hurt and bruised she runs away, he follows and she ends up dropping to her knees anyway, I’m lost, I thought you like dudes Rocco! What’s going on?
Now after she has wiped her mouth she makes him a proposition, she offers to pay him to “watch me when I’m unwatchable” he agrees.
The rest of the film is based around four days of filth and debauchery, class I hear you say, no no no, it’s all wrong. I’ll save you the graphic details but what basically happens is;

Day 1, Rocco bangs on about how much he dislikes women because they are obscene, then has a little fiddle with her, forgot to mention he is naked the whole time.
Day 2 he carries on a bit more she has a little chat back telling him he hasn’t learnt anything and he is wrong, he takes his fiddling a stage further.
Day 3 she pipes up and tells him that he is wrong women are great, blah blah blah, he forgets he’s gay or thinks she is a boy or whatever and ends up, well you know where he ends up.
Day 4, he’s in love now turns up they share a moment, she gives him his money, he realises he shouldn’t have and ends up killing her because he is a bit pissed off.

That is basically the story now add in several shots of full frontal male nudity, countless female nudity, one shot of a naked child (little girl about 8, apparently for the close up it was a dummy, I don’t care it was wrong, and unnecessary) and lots of blood and there you have it. The director (Catherine Breillat) has tried, apparently to produce an intellectual art house movie, rubbish this is nonsense, what she has done is try her hardest to shock you, take the opening scene for example, its outside the club, you see to figures, one standing one on there knees. The shot comes in and it’s a guy giving another guy a blow job, this added nothing to the plot at all, it was just for shock value. The shot came in so close in was ridiculous, then it cut to a load of guys kissing, yes I know it's a gay bar, I can tell that from the handle bar moustaches and the leather there was no need for that. Then there was all the close ups of the woman’s lady bits, I though I was buying a film not a porno, if I wanted porn that’s what I would have bought, there was no need to view in such close graphic detail Rocco sticking his fingers in the holiest of holies.

I wont go on, it gets worse but lets not dwell on it, what I did was check out the imdb boards after to see if anybody else was as disgusted as I was, what I found was a bunch of people with too much time on their hands using words and phrases like:

“A philosophical theorem”

“an interest and knowledge of humanist philosophy from Ancient Greek Protagoras”

“Philosophic Humanism”

“Odalisque qualities”

“pseudo psycho-babble”

I didn’t understand any of this rubbish because the film was just crap, but lots of people with dictionary’s are trying to have intellectual debates about the films merit. It all steams from a woman that said it is aimed at a mature audience, after that everybody went thesaurus mad trying to prove they had an IQ over 150, idiots!
Apparently this film was supposed to portray the relationships between men and women, it didn’t, It was a shock fest full of filth that and I suggest should you have the opportunity to view it, don’t bother, unless you really want to waste 77 minutes of your life.

On a scale of 1 to 10 I give it -5


Blogger Scott said...

You didn't like it then?

8:16 AM  
Blogger Chase said...

you could say that

1:53 PM  

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